how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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