I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize