Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
