OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Randomize
