I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
