Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
