i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
