he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
