No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
