just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
