apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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