if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I need a beard to bite.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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