Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm too high and old for this...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize