I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
