no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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