Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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