i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
where are my eyebrows?
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