Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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