you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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