There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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