3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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