Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
