that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
