i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
