new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
