Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
