Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
