toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
