Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
operation harelip BJ is a go
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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