we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We are all done wearing pants today
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
