every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Vodka?
Forever.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
