Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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