Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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