Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
