Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
