So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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