haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
