You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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