i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
