Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize