Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
