we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
