please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
