fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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