Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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