my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
third nipple confirmed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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