Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
