at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
