I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
