I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
