can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
