Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
