He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
