I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
