$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The adults are the big ones right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
