he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
