Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No subtext here. People are naked.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
