i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
