Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize