): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize