**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He did a backflip because drugs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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