Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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