It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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