I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize